hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
