when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize