you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
