Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
