That's intense
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
