Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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