My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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