i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
