No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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