How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
