Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I want to fling myself into the sun