When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good