Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.