you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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