Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
