There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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