I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
