I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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