Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
