do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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