I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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