wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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