you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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