fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
