so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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