dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
