i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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