I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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