You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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