i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
