True but thats because hes a fetus.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
