But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
