I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
