puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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