There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
