He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
