How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
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Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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