soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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