Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
