It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize