We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
