How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
