You can't motorboat a personality
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
