i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
