Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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