I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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