I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
