I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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