my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
