HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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