That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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