you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
