the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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