I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
