I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm going to jail i love you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
