bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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