Duck Duck Cougar?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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