She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
