the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
