And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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