big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
