he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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