Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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