just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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