How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
