im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
