weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
