You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
